


The time Poseidon tried to bake

by Thedreamingtree1



Series: The time Poseidon tried.... [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Aphrodite and Poseidon are BESTIES, Aphrodite is a ™ Queen and it needs to be acknowledged., Baby Percy, Baking, Fluff, Fluff and (attempted) Humor, Gen, I Tried, Poseidon (Percy Jackson) is a Good Parent, Poseidon is a sap, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Youtube AU, and that is on canon so idk what to tell you, but it's baby Percy so really everyone is, guys I am NOT kidding there is so much fluff, little bit of angst but only if you squint, no beta we die like men, there are other characters but only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28389057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thedreamingtree1/pseuds/Thedreamingtree1
Summary: No one said Poseidon was going to win father of the year reward but hey...Attempting to bake with a hyperactive son, a queen of a bestie and a semi-rundown kitchen in the middle of his apartment and really things can't go that bad can they? Add all that in the middle of quarantine so going outside is literally not an option? Oh yeah Poseidon should be expecting that award in the mail any day soon huh?Non-power, YouTuber AU where Poseidon just wants to make nice Christmas treats with his son. Can he have that?
Relationships: Amphitrite/Poseidon (Percy Jackson) mentioned, Aphrodite and Poseidon (Percy Jackson), Percy Jackson & Poseidon
Series: The time Poseidon tried.... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079165
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	The time Poseidon tried to bake

**Author's Note:**

> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This is like the first serious thing I have finished in literal MONTHS so I really hope someone else appreciates my hardwork. I kid you not I stopped watching my movie and stayed up till 5 am to write this so...worth it!

“Heeeelloooo, my little godlings~~, And welcome back to my channel”.

Poseidon’s singsong voice filled the air as he gestured towards the camera. Currently he was sitting on a stool in his kitchen and trying not to let the bright lights shining in his eyes bother him while ignoring the awkward feeling of talking to a cold lens on a stick. This was always his least favorite part of making videos, besides the neverending editing that came after it (but who cares, he has Hermes for that). 

Poseidon paused in his cheerful introduction and took some time to look away from the camera. 

“Channel? Chanel? Chaneel? Um…”

“Channel! C-H-A-N-N-E-L! Channel!”A high-pitched voice called out in response to his hesitation and Poseidon’s eyes lit up in return. Reaching out he grabbed the small child and placed him firmly in his lap making sure to land a loud kiss on his cheek. 

“Good boy helping daddy with his pronunciation.” 

“Silly daddy, _I’m_ the one whos dsy-. Um. dys-. Uh. d-y-s-l-e-x-i-c. Dyslexic!”

The boy turned those big green eyes up at Poseidon obviously expecting praise. Poseidon could feel his heart squeeze in turn as he loudly praised the boys efforts while ruffling his hair. Percy laughed, swiping the big hands away and turning back to the camera with a smile bright enough to part clouds, Poseidon smiled at him before turning back to the camera with a decisive clap of his hands. 

“As you lovelies can see, this is a video that I will be doing with my son Percy!”, Percy stood up on his fathers lap, waved energetically towards the camera and giggled when Aphrodite jokingly waved back. Poseidon shot them both a fond smile before directing his attention back towards the camera. 

“Okay. So I know its been hard for all of us parents, being stuck in quarantine and everything, but I think it’s important to stay chipper for the kids. That’s why I decided to make this super special, once-in-a-lifetime, christmas video to celebrate the season while stuck in your ever depressing house”. Poseidon threw a mischievous wink towards the camera as he started organizing the materials spread around him on the table. 

“Mommy says your not allowed to say that word around me”

“Mommy doesn’t have to know everything I do. Just like she doesn’t know that I’m the one who ate all her chocolate last week.”

Percy threw a disapproving glance in Poseidon's direction at the response while picking up a stray Popsicle Poseidon had left out earlier, though it was clear he was trying not to laugh. Poseidon gave him a small smile in return, laying a small kiss on his cheek as payment for his silence. 

He turned back to the camera smiling, and picked up a hand colored sign. He tried to ignore Aphrodite's calls of how she made the beautiful sign and deserves immediate payment and an art degree. Percy however showed no such restraint. (“Yass queen, speak your truth!”, “Dite, why would you teach him that?”, “Just keep it in the video ‘Sie, our little Percy is becoming an ICON”)

Still Poseidon looked determinedly at the camera as if that conversation hadn’t just happened and continued on. “Okay party people! Today~ we are going to be making.... Drum roll please”.

Percy made a drumming noise on the counter despite pointing out the fact that it already said what they were going to make on the sign Poseidon was holding up. 

“Quiet. I knew that.” Poseidon blushed (“Dite! Stop! Laughing!”) while putting down the sign, a slightly sheepish smile decorating his features. “Right, so today we will be making... peanut butter snowballs!”

Percy immediately started clapping and Poseidon did a minor bow in his direction causing him to giggle. 

“Before we get started-” Poseidon turned back to the camera immediately sobering and looking as serious as possible. “I have to ask that if you are aware that your child contains an allergy towards peanuts, white chocolate, certain kinds of butter and/or graham crackers, that you either refrain or moderate this recipe as necessary”

Percy immediately copying his fathers disposition turned to the camera and spoke in an equally grave tone. 

“Yes, do not do this because then they will die and you will be sad”.

Poseidon had to stop himself from laughing out loud in the middle of what was supposed to be a serious warning. Instead he settled for picking the boy up and setting him on his hip as a way to be closer to the little child he couldn’t help but adore. Like really how can a person be this _cute._

“Indeed. Please do not poison your child”.

“If you do, we'll tell on you!” Percy looked extra proud coming to this conclusion and Poseidon couldn’t help himself (serious moment be damned), using the hand holding on to Percy’s side he reached up and lightly scratched against the boys underarms, careful not to actually hurt him. 

Little shrieks of laughter filled the air as Percy struggled to evade the evil hand, finally resorting to banging his tiny fist into the side of Poseidon’s face. Poseidon laughed a clear sound as he slowly set down the boy now dead set on getting revenge by breaking his jaw. 

Percy pouted at the man still snickering as he reached for the first ingredient. 

“First things first, for this yummy treat we will be using two cups of powdered sugar, one and one-third cups of _creamy_ peanut butter-”

“Do NOT get crunchy because then the texture might turn out wrong and your son will get really mad at you and refuse to talk to for the rest of the day and then he’ll get even _more_ mad when he realizes that you are actually being productive for once and getting stuff done without him yapping in your ear.”

Percy threw a spare grandham cracker at his father before quickly turning back towards the camera with an angelic smile, ignoring the indignant squawk in the background.

“As I was saying-”

Poseidon huffed and took a bite of the graham cracker, rolling his eyes at his son’s theatrics. And people say they act similar, what a load, he would never be this immature. 

“As I was SAYING, you will also need one-fourth cups of melted butter, two-thirds cups of graham cracker crumbs, 1 t-b-s-p of maple syrup, 1 t-s-p of kosher salt, 2 cups of melted white choco, 2 t-s-p of coconut oil and finally SPRINKLES!!”

Percy took the little container off the counter and excitedly dumped some sprinkles in his mouth. Unfortunately this had the effect of flinging some stray sprinkles all across the kitchen floor. Percy smiled sheepishly at the mess and swallowed. 

“Haha...sprinkles?”, He offered the container to Poseidon who merely sighed fondly and took them from the boy's hand. 

“I hope you guys could understand that he was saying tablespoon and teaspoon. I don’t think he knows what those words mean”

“Tablespoon and teaspoon got it. Let’s bake!” The green-eyed boy bounced excitedly in place, his eyes jumping from ingredient to ingredient as he pictured what the final product would taste like. He could already feel his mouth watering and they hadn’t even started yet. 

Poseidon chuckled at the young boy’s excitement turning back to the camera, throwing the audience a quick pair of finger guns. “Let’s bake!”

Aphrodite took that as her sign to move and handed Poseidon a piece of paper with the recipe on it. Giggling she tapped Percy’s nose causing it to wrinkle when she saw him leaning over to get a peek at the recipe over Poseidon’s shoulder.

“Y’know”, she started, now diving out of the way as Percy tried to tap her nose back. “You really should tie your hair up ‘Sei”.

“Yeah daddy. Your hair is _reeeallly_ pretty but I don’t want it in my _food!_ ”

Poseidon laughed at Percy’s little display of fake gagging, his big eyes crinkling in disgust. Just to tease him Poseidon made a show of trying to stuff his hair in the little one’s mouth, to his disdain. 

Aphrodite chuckled at the sight of the two boys play fighting on the kitchen counter because that’s what this has devolved into. Percy flailing around on his back, tiny fists pulling at his fathers hair while Poseidon gently held him down and mercilessly attacked his sides with wiggly fingers.

Gods these two...did they even realize they were still on camera?

Aphrodite sighed. Regardless of how cute the current scene was they had to get this show on the road if they wanted to be done in time to drop Percy back off at Sally’s. 

“Alright boys, as fun as this is some of us have places to be”, she threw a pointed look in Poseidon's direction who threw her a heated glare back, “so can we please move on with the video?”

“Yeah daddy, baking! Let’s get on with the foooood”. Aphrodite watched as that icy look on Poseidon’s face melted in the face of Percy’s smile and couldn’t help but let a tiny one slip herself.

“Alright, alright stop pulling my leg. I agree that it’s time to start”. Poseidon threw a winning smile in the camera’s direction. “And you my darling little godlings have been patiently waiting all this time so without further ado let’s start balling!”

“Y’know there’s a good chance Hermes is gonna edit out like half of that”

“I said let’s start balling!”

Aphrodite rolled her eyes before going to man one of the side cameras, leaving Poseidon to quickly tie his hair back and start listing off the steps necessary to complete the treat. 

“Ooookay so first off we want to line a medium baking sheet with parchment paper”, Poseidon looked down just in time to see Percy rip off a _huge_ chunk of parchment and slap it down on the baking sheet. Poseidon means big enough to wrap it 2 times around the pan huge, so like--??.

Poseidon shot Percy a concerned look as the boy puffed in pride at his contribution. “Done!” He exclaimed brightly clearly expecting praise if his slightly outstretched head was any indication. Huffing slightly Poseidon decided to humor his son a bit, giving him a thorough pat on the head. 

"Dear lord, Poseidon is that child _purring?_ ” 

“Yes, we don’t know how he does it but its cute. Alright, next we need to--in a large bowl-- combine the powdered sugar, peanut butter (“CREAMY!”, “really Percy?”), butter, graham cracker crumbs, maple syrup and salt”. Poseidon turned to the smaller boy next to him with an expectant raised eyebrow. Of course Percy immediately got the message and gave a determined head nod back. 

There was a solid pause for about 3 seconds and the next thing Aphrodite knows the boys are each rushing to pick up the nearest listed ingredient and dump it in the bowl. She’s talking full on competition too, with pushing and shoving and even a stray thrown graham cracker or two. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes hard enough to pop them out of her eye sockets. _Boys._

_‘Dite’ I am_ nowhere _near as immature as Percy so I would appreciate it if people would stop saying we act exactly the same’_.

Please. Aphrodite could still hear the indignant voice in her mind and could picture the goofy fond smile Poseidon had sported despite it. The man was whipped for the little bundle of joy currently attempting to stick chocolate up his ears and it was clear for everyone to see.

Wait, they were throwing graham crackers?

“Guys, guys stop!” Her voice cut through the laughter in the room and suddenly all eyes were on her. An effect she typically had when speaking so nothing surprising there. What was surprising was the gooey syrup sticking to the cheeks of both of the boys frozen in place. And was that...was that white chocolate sticking out of Poseidon's mouth?

“Sei’ those were for later”

“Okay and? Percy has terrible aim”

“That is not true. I was merely trying to feed daddy since he looks so skinny!”

Poseidon who previously had dropped his head on the table suddenly shot up with a scandalized look at his youngest. “Percy babe, let’s have a talk about why people literally pay to just stare at daddy because I don’t think you understand how attractive I am”.

“How about we don’t?!” Aphrodite shot a heated glare in the man’s direction as a warning, glancing sweetly at Percy in between. At least he had the good graces to look sheepish about what he had almost said but most definitely hinted at. Jesus where would he be without her?  
Poseidon coughed awkwardly. “So um you were saying?”

Aphrodite sighed but straightened up nonetheless, pointing a finger at the now half full bowl of graham crackers. “The recipe calls for graham cracker crumbs. _Crumbs._ Those are not crumbs."

“Thanks Dite’! I can still see since you seemed to be unsure.”

Aphrodite pursed her lips and moved to cut off the cameras to Poseidon's immediate squawks of apology and Percy's snickers of amusement. “That’s better. Take that tone again and see what happens.”

“Yes ma’am. Of course, your highness. My mistake, my grace. Can you ever forgive the blunder of this poor sarcastic soul you find it in your heart to bless with your beauty at least every other day?”

Aphrodite had to struggle to not immediately start laughing out loud at that one. Gaia, she loves it when he treats her like a goddess. As he should too. 

“Fine,” she said flippantly, trying to hide her smirk but she’s pretty sure he could still see it if his matching one was anything to go by.

“Anyways what are we going to do about _that?_ ” She questioned, once again gesturing to the bowl of graham crackers and not crumbs. 

Poseidon immediately gained a sort of twinkle in his eye as he pushed almost everything on the counter to the side except for the bowl of crackers and took out a large cutting board. Turning back to the camera, he was practically bouncing on his heels as he addressed the audience. 

“I’m sure our _amazing_ viewers are wondering the exact same thing. So I searched up how exactly I was supposed to get graham cracker crumbs when the only thing I could find in the store were graham crackers--”

“You crush them!” Percy interrupted looking a bit too excited at the idea of possible destruction. Poseidon however couldn’t find it in him to complain however, as he felt himself equally intrigued by the idea of making a mess. No matter the headache he was inevitably going to go through when they sent Percy home and he was left to deal with the aftermath. 

“Exactly!” He rewarded the dark-haired boy by picking him up and setting him on his hip rubbing his nose into the little warm neck currently trying to get away from him. 

“C’mon daddy stop!” Percy squealed, pushing his chubby fingers into Poseidon’s head in a fruitless effort of getting him to let go. The only real thing this accomplished was getting Poseidon's heart to warm from the inside out from the sound of his son’s laughter. 

Gods, it didn’t matter how long he spent as a dad he would never ever get sick of hearing that sound. Because that right there. The way Percy’s cute little cheeks slowly turned pink from exertion, the way his smile threatened to take over his whole face and put the sun to shame, the little giggles struggling their way out and into Poseidon’s soul to be forever documented and treasured. Those were things that kept Poseidon going through every bad thing life decided to throw his way. Those were the things that made every 2 am trip to the local CVS, every call from the school that had him running from work at the threat of less pay, every single time he’d been woken up to deal with a stomach ache, or nightmare or whatever kept Percy up these days. Those were things that made every single one of those worth it a hundred times over and back.

“We _were_ going to throw these bad boys in a blender but that’s boring so instead I got us some hammers that we’re going to smash 'em with”. 

Uggh, don’t even get him started on the look of complete and utter _joy_ that just sparked in Percy’s big green eyes. Really. Fatherhood made him _way_ too sappy.

Putting down the still _vibrating_ child (Chaos, was he really _that_ excited?) Poseidon reached his hands out for the two hammers and goggles Aphrodite was currently handing him. Making sure to secure the goggles on both him and Percy, Poseidon laid the graham crackers out one by one on the cooking board. Of course before doing all of this he gave a charming message to his audience about taking precautions during this part.

(“Safety first”, “Please for everything good in the world stop posing as if you jumped straight out of a 90s tv show and you’re the guy who thinks if he makes “cool” movements the girls will like him more but really he’s the guy they might consider going to prom with if their current date canceled on them and they’re already there ”, “...You did not have to hurt me that bad. In front of my son?”)

“I know yall (“Pfft _‘yall’_ , you spend way too much time with Apollo”, “Shush so do you”) are probably wondering what the cooking board is for but I am 90% sure Percy will break my counter given the chance so we do this on a _different_ surface”.

“I am an angel”.

“You are your father’s child and that means _nothing_ good”.

Percy gave a wise nod in her direction and Poseidon glared at the two people he was supposed to consider pretty close to him but were currently sharing an (intimate? Those stares were weird) bonding moment at his expense. He watched as Percy tenderly reached out to give Aphrodite a tiny piece of white chocolate and Aphrodite _actually_ started wiping her eyes as if severely touched by the gesture. These were the people he decided to surround himself with on the daily and he wished he could find it in him to be more upset about it. 

“So like if yall are done (“pfft _‘yall’”_ , “Aphrodite I swear--”) can we start smashing now? Because like I was really looking forward to this”.

“Me too!” Percy practically screamed and quickly reached for his smaller hammer. Holding it up eagerly he peered up at his father as if asking for permission. Poseidon sent a bright smile back and almost as if on cue they both raised up the hammers and brought them crashing down onto the poor graham crackers still laying innocently on the board.

If Aphrodite had any sympathy for inanimate food items she would surely look away because damn those two were getting in it. Poseidon in particular. She should probably speak to him about this later to see if he’s got anything pent up he wants to get out. In the meantime it was time to break out the popcorn and pull up a seat to the cracker murdering of the century. In her own best friends apartment that was basically hers too. Wow. 

After about 20 more seconds of this had passed, Aphrodite decided it would be best to put an end to things now before they ended up with graham cracker dust instead of crumbs and _gods_ if she ever even _thought_ the words ‘graham cracker’ again it would be too soon. 

“Alright boys wrap it up! This is still a family channel!”

Poseidon laughed while taking off his goggles and laying them on the counter next to Percy’s who was honestly looking at him like he just gave the boy the moon. Chaos, if the boy didn’t stop looking at Poseidon like that he might get addicted (more than he already is) and that wouldn’t be good for anyone. 

“Hey, did you clean these hammers or are we gonna have to explain to mamma Sally why her boy got a surprise tetanus shot today?”

“First off you know _just_ as well as I do that these are a meat hammer and a wooden mallet respectively and second of _course_ I took the time to sanitize them I wouldn’t want Percy to get sick and _die--_ ”

“What about you?”

“Unimportant. I would thank myself for it.”

“Umm” 

“And _third_ why the hell would you ask that after we spent all that time crushing these crackers up?”

Poseidon and Aphrodite merely stared at each other in what should have gone down in the YouTube records as one of the most epic standowns of history but sadly that title was already taken by another one of Poseidon’s videos so instead it went down as that time Aphrodite and Poseidon were speaking telepathically while Percy brushed graham cracker crumbs into a large bowl.

Finally Aphrodite sighed and looked away leaving the tense mood to last for approximately 10 more seconds before they both burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Percy merely looked on in that affectionate way you would look at two children who were clearly having too much fun. 

“You- you-- wait I can’t-- you said you weren’t going to curse this video because Percy is here”, Aphrodite struggled between gasps occasionally looking back at Percy and breaking out in laughter all over again. 

“Hell doesn’t count”. 

“Yes it f*cking does b*tch!” 

“Dite’!” Poseidon yelled scandalized with two hands delicately and yet tightly covering Percy’s ears in a futile attempt to protect him from the words just spoken. 

“It’s okay daddy I’ve heard you say worse! Like that time you stubbed your toe and went--”

“OKAY, let’s just leave that to the viewers imagination, yeah? ( Thank Gaia this isn’t live)”. Poseidon murmured the last part looking concernedly down at Aphrodite who was at that point rolling on the floor. It was so unfair how she could still look drop dead gorgeous while wrestling with the wires on the floor and sending her hair flying like a hurricane. Maybe Chaos did have favorites.

Shaking his head Poseidon attempted to ignore her (“You really can’t stop cursing can you?”, “Shut the doodle up at least I try”) and reached for the hand mixer announcing the next step as he moved. 

“So next we want to mix the ingredients until fully smooth and incorporated”. Poseidon cranked up the mixer to the appropriate setting and watched it start to mix the contents into the bowl before steadily passing it to Percy and going to check on Aphrodite who was still lying on the floor. 

“Hoe, you good?” He whispered so Percy couldn’t hear (he really didn’t need anymore reasons to doubt his parenting ability right now) and laid a hand on Aphrodite’s forehead.

“I chipped a nail and now I want to die”

“Great. Not on my good floor take that shit to the basement”

And with that Poseidon was back on his feet, tapping her inner wrist twice and sending one small wink in her direction to show that he was joking. Once he received the same in turn he returned to the cooking station where Percy had already read off the next step and was using a small cookie scoop to make the mixture into balls and setting them on the sheet. 

Poseidon immediately dived into helping, engaging with the audience every once in a while so as to not let things get too quiet. Of course the peace didn’t last _too_ long as this was Poseidon and Percy (Aphrodite’s there too but she’s not as chaotic at the moment so we’ll let it slide) so something absolutely _had_ to go wrong. And by wrong we mean an improvised peanut butter ball making competition which then devolved into throwing excess mixture at each other to see who could get it in the others mouth first.

By the time Aphrodite had stood back up again (“Poseidon your floors are like way too comfortable”, “Thanks I moisturize it with my tears!”) There was peanut butter mixture dripping off the walls and sticking in both Poseidon’s and Percy’s hair (which he’s going to call bitching to her about later once both Sally and Amphitrite get on him for it).

But Percy was smiling as if Christmas had come early and this was the first time she’d heard Poseidon laugh this hard in weeks so she guesses she can put up with a couple extra hours of bitching if this is the put out. She sighs. Really. Where _would_ they be without her?

“Please tell me you are ready to move on to the next step because I really don’t think your walls can take anymore of this”. Poseidon stopped aiming his spoon filled with peanut butter ball ammo and took a close look at his surroundings, the laughter slowly dying away but his smile not yet fading. 

“Well triple deck sunday with _three_ whole cherries--”

“And whip cream!”

“Thank you baby--and with whip cream! This is a mess.”

Aphrodite chuckled at her best friend's reaction. Leave it to Poseidon to completely zone out of his surroundings when he’s having fun. As troubling as that little habit could be sometimes it was just one of many reasons at this point that she loved him. 

“Right so I’m pretty sure the next thing that pretty little recipe would have us do is making the chocolate coating so let's get on with it yeah? We officially have an hour and a half left before we have to get Percy back to his mother”, she gently reminded, watching Poseidon’s eyes harden a bit at the thought of sending Percy away again. She would definitely have to talk to him after this. 

Just as quickly as it had appeared however the look was gone, replaced with a soft determination as Poseidon turned back to the camera. 

“Right, as my _lovely_ assistant has reminded me we are in fact on a time limit so it’s best to hurry this up. Percy baby, would you mind passing me that bowl?” 

Percy quickly did as instructed, keeping one firm hand on his fathers arm at all times, having clearly picked up on his slightly different mood from earlier. Aphrodite knew from experience the action was both making Poseidon feel a thousand times better and a thousand times worse. Those doubts were probably already creeping their way back into his mind and at this rate it was going to take both Amphitrite and Aphrodite to get him out of it by the end of the night. 

Sighing, she put the thought aside. There was nothing she could do about it now but make sure the viewers didn’t also pick up on the change. Coughing loudly to get their attention Aphrodite offered to help with the next step (and the rest of the video), knowing having her close enough to touch might help keep the thoughts at bay. Poseidon in turn sent her a grateful smile and welcomed her over. 

“Okay. So I want you to put _this”_ , he held up a bowl of chopped white chocolate she had taken a knife too before recording, and pushed it into her hands, “in the microwave for like 20 seconds. Take it out. Stir. Then put it back in and repeat the process until totally smooth, got it?”

“Got it. Hey, do you even know if you can melt chocolate this way?”

“I don’t know. I searched it up and I'm too lazy to use the stove, now _go_ ”. Aphrodite couldn’t help laughing at her friend's incessant shoving. She released a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding when she saw the little smile gracing Poseidon’s lips. Maybe today was going to be a better day after all. 

“ _Fiiiiine_ , but if your microwave catches on fire and I leave you all to burn and die do _not_ set your vengeful soul after me”. Poseidon rolled his eyes but his tone was a lot lighter than before and Aphrodite could visibly see his shoulders relaxing so she decided to count it as a win. 

“Someone has been spending waaaay too much time with Hades”

“He's fun and happens to be there whenever I go to visit Persephone.”

“Uh-huh” 

Aphrodite returned with chocolate that melted surprisingly fast and poured it into the bowl Poseidon was holding. “Alright, now I want you my little starfish”, Poseidon touched noses with Percy who giggled briefly at the contact before looking determidly back ready to receive his mighty task, “to pour in the coconut oil so I can stir until smooth”. 

Percy did a tiny salut before quickly getting to work. Once that was done Poseidon began to stir while announcing the next step to the camera. “So I’m making sure not to use anything cold to stir the chocolate so as not to shock it but besides that what we are going to do next is…. Dip the peanut butter balls in the chocolate, and then place them on a cooling rack to cool. I don’t have a cooling rack so we’re just going to leave them out on the counter and hope that’s good enough.” 

He gave the camera a charming smile and ignored Percy's fake disapproving gaze and Aphrodite’s over the top complaints in the background about his inability to provide (he could tell from the two taps on his inner wrist she was just joking). 

“You two leave me alone and help me dip my peanut butter balls or I swear I will eat them all myself”. Poseidon laughed at the sight of the both of them scrambling to dip the balls, giving the camera a fond shake of his head. Smiling Poseidon got right to work helping them. 

Together they were able to get all the balls dipped in no time at all (“Dite’ why are yours so _thick?_ ”, “I like chocolate. Shut up.”) and set them on the counter to cool. 

“Well we have about 10 minutes to chill so I’m going to clean this place up a bit and I’ll see you darlings in a little~”. Poseidon once again winked at the camera and clapped before turning to the other two people in the kitchen. “So do you guys want to help or--”

“Sorry can’t hear you watching bad YouTube videos with your kid on the couch!”

Poseidon once again rolled his eyes at his friend's theatrics as she promptly picked Percy up and tumble rolled them both over the back of the couch and onto it. How she managed to do that without injuring either one of them Poseidon would never know but Aphrodite always did have that special something that made each one of her moves have a certain flawlessness to them. 

Sighing, Poseidon turned back towards the disaster zone that was his kitchen, narrowly avoiding a bit of peanut goo that was somehow stuck to the ceiling? Gulping, Poseidon looked jealously back towards the couch where Aphrodite lay snuggled up all nice and warm with Percy, getting to watch trashy videos and feel his little tummy rumble whenever something funny made him laugh. She sent a playful wink his way and he grumbled in return. This was going to be a _long_ 10 minutes.

For Percy and Aphrodite the time passed in no time at all and soon they were heading back into the surprisingly much better looking kitchen to complete the final step. Poseidon on the other hand looked as if he just wasted 50 years of his life and he knew it too. Having Percy in the room for the next step (and Aphrodite too if we’re being honest here) just meant that all this cleaning no matter how heartbreaking was basically meaningless. Because now it was time to add the sprinkles. 

“Okay, my little godlings! It is time for everyone's favorite step. And by everyone I mean the children’s because parents let's face it if your child is even a tiny bit as hyper as mine is this is going to be a disaster”. 

“Oh come on Poseidon, have a bit of positivity!”

“Yeah daddy, everything’s going to be _fine_. Now where are the sprinkles?”

Poseidon couldn’t bring himself to tell Percy that his reassurance was a little dampened by him rubbing his hands together and looking around the room like a drug addict searching for their weekly dose of cocaine. _‘Woah Poseidon, bad example’_. Poseidon shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of the unwanted memories and instead collected the now dipped snowballs from the side counter and brought them back to the main one.

“As my darling son Percy has notified you all, this next step is adding the sprinkles. Do this and then you’re done”. 

“Done!” Percy helpfully added, already reaching for the sprinkles now that they were in sight. 

It didn’t take a psychic to figure out how things ended.

As soon as the sprinkles were in Percy’s hands they were also all over the floor, the 6 snowballs he thought to decorate and his face as he attempted to waterfall half the bottle into his mouth. Poseidon struggled to get the bottle back from him so he could decorate his own snowballs and hopefully prevent more damage. Sadly that didn’t work out as he hoped it would as Aphrodite took her opportunity to snatch the bottle from them both, barely top off her snowballs and also attempt to dump half the bottle into her mouth. Well at least Poseidon knew where Percy got it from now. 

Finally managing to grapple the bottle away from 2 pairs of grabby hands Poseidon put the proper amount of sprinkles on his snowballs (granted they were all vaguely in the shape of fish but whatever let him have his fun) and promptly stashed it away on the tallest shelf he could find, to the utter dismay of the people around him. (Of course he took the time to give himself a solid shake or two into his mouth but no one needs to know that but him). 

Sounds of moaning delight brought his attention back to the work station where Percy and Aphrodite were eating the snowballs and making exaggerated faces and noises for the camera. Poseidon snickered a bit on the sight and made his way back over. 

“Really you two?” He asked taking one for himself and popping it into his mouth. _Damn that was good_. Poseidon could literally feel his taste buds singing in salvation as he treasured the taste in his mouth. Okay so maybe those two weren’t exaggerating after all. He should _definitely_ do this more often. 

"Aunty Dite’ said you have to show proper ap- appre- uh- y’know what, just thanks for the snack!” 

Poseidon tried not to laugh at his son’s obvious struggle no matter how adorable it was. Instead he took the time to spell out the world and pronounce it so Percy could do the same next time. 

“I’m sure your mom taught you the same thing right Percy?” 

Percy nodded enthusiastically visibly lighting up at the mention of his mother. “Yeah she did! She said I have to say please and thank you to all the people who help me!”

“Then what do we say to Poseidon?”

Percy smiled a bit sheepishly before jumping up and looping his arms around Poseidon’s neck. “Thank you daddy. I love you and I’m really happy we got to hang out today”, he whispered and landed a soft kiss on Poseidon's cheek, rubbing his face in his beard a little and giggling at the sensation before jumping back down and back to snacking. 

While Percy seemed content to eat his treat Poseidon could feel his heart about to implode. He could almost feel tears rising up to the occasion and had to remind himself he was still on camera and for now at least had to try and keep it together. He could feel Aphrodites grounding hand on his shoulder and mentally thanked her as he turned back to the camera, about to close out the video. 

“Can we wrap some of these up and share them with the neighbors?” 

Poseidon stopped stunned and turned to his son with a questioning look. Percy on the other hand just continued to look up at him with those big baby seal eyes as if pleading for something. Which Poseidon was guessing he was. “What do you mean baby?” He asked. 

“I heard some of the people in your building talking about how hard quarantine has been on all of them with money and stuff and I thought it might be nice if we brought them some nice stuff to eat?” Percy once again turned his pleading gaze on the adults in the room who were honestly too shocked to say anything back. 

People often said Poseidon and Percy were alike but it was moments like these where Poseidon knew that couldn’t be further from the truth. Percy may look like him but this right here; this immense kindness that Percy seemed to have an endless amount of to give to everyone. This was all Sally. These were the moments where Poseidon could see her shine through the most clearly and he couldn’t be more proud. He couldn’t be more grateful that his son had such a caring and kind person in his life to build his character after. Much better than him in any case. 

Sharing a quick glance with Aphrodite, Poseidon turned back to Percy and sighed but he still had that immense pride in his eye. “Starfish, we’re in the middle of a pandemic right now and we made these treats with our bare hands. We can't hand them out to people. It wouldn't be safe.” Poseidon watched Percy’s face fall and he felt his heart breaking into a thousand pieces.

“But!” He quickly continued. Anything to get that sad look off of Percy’s face. “We still have enough left over to make another batch and if we work quickly and wear gloves this time we should have enough time to seal 'em up in a ziploc bag and hand a few out?” The look of joy that lit Percy up in that moment would be worth doing this whole thing over a hundred times in Poseidon’s opinion. And as he twirled his little boy in his arms Poseidon thought this was probably the best thing he had done all month. 

Coughing a bit to get their attention, Aphrodite gestured towards the camera. Getting the hint Poseidon turned back to the camera, addressing his audience.

“Well my little godlings~~ I hope you liked today’s video and enjoyed these treats as much as me and my family did. Feel free to like this video if you did and follow for more content from me. Also check out my dear besties channel “BeautyCraft” for other totally awesome videos (some of them even starring me, wink wink) and subscribe there too!”

Aphrodite threw a dramatic kiss towards the camera which Percy copied to her immense amusement. 

“If you wanna look at the recipe yourselves I got it off some random site and put the link in the description so yeah knock yourselves out”

Aphrodite picked Percy up and made sure to move a bit closer to Poseidon so they could all 3 sign out together. 

“Remember to keep it flowing and ride the waves. This is Poseidon--”

“And Aphrodite.”

“And Percy!” 

“Fading out!” They all three chanted together with Poseidon moving to shut off the camera after. He looked back over at his Aphrodite and Percy, already moving to get some gloves so they could get started on the next batch.

 _‘Yeah’_ , he thought smiling, his eyes filled with so much love he didn’t know how he managed to actually see anything, _‘this is going to be a good video’._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was good. As always kudos are lovely and comments make my day so feel free by all means to leave one down below! I'm thinking of changing the format for the next one (because this is a series do not worry and we might go a bit more into Poseidon's issues later on) so tell me what you think. 
> 
> I might do it so you're watching the actual video instead of it being made? Like _these would be actions_ and [these would be words]? Idk let me know in the comments if I should change the style or keep it as it is!


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